My Cross to Bear

There came a point in my life that I wished I could remove myself of some memories. I had this wishful thinking that memories are stored in every strand of hair, and I can get rid of them just by shaving it all off. But it is not quite that simple.

The hard truth is that one has to live with these memories, and though such memories are already part of the past, the harder you try to cover them, there are things that just won’t die. These memories touch me more often than not, maybe because of the pain that still lingers on inside me. Every night as I close my eyes, memories torment me like demons. Is it because of me still unable to forgive myself for everything that has happened? Or is it because I am still struggling to hold on to a lost cause…to a lost dream. It’s so easy to say that I will get this over with but it’s easier said than done.

I’ve come to realize that I may have to bear this cross for a long time…a long time, and I hope that what awaits at the end can finally wash away all the pain.